Another parody of the city's deer culling activity
5058.1. Asking neighboring cities to help pay for culling...
by solonjoe3, 01/17/12 10:30 AM
Re: Serious response regarding Deer Killing... by bystander75, 01/17/12 10:30 AM
Mayor Drucker: Maria, can you get me the mayor of Bentleyville on the line?
Mayor Drucker: Yeah, it’s a city north of us, remember.
Maria: oh, ok.
[Five minutes pass]
Mayor Drucker: Maria, how’s that call coming?
Maria: Sally hid the phone books so I’m looking it up on one of the internets.
Mayor Drucker: Oh, ok.
[Another five minutes pass. Mayor quietly picks up her cell phone and call SolonPol]
Mayor Drucker: [Whispering] SolonPol, can you get me number for the Mayor of Bentleyville?
SolonPol: Home, cell, fax or work?
Mayor Drucker: Work.
SolonPol: Coming right up chief… (440) 247-5055
Mayor Drucker: [Still whispering] Thanks. Oh, one more thing. What’s his name?
SolonPol: Leonard A. Spremulli
Mayor Drucker: Spermwhatty?
SolonPol: Spremulli. Bye.
Mayor Drucker: [Shouts to the other room] Maria, I found the number. Can you get me a cup of coffee?
Maria: Oh, sure.
[Mayor Drucker dials]
Mayor Spremulli: Hello, This is Mayor Spremulli speaking. How may I help you?
Mayor Drucker: Hi Mayor Spermwhalie, this mayor Drucker over in Solon.
Mayor Spremulli: Oh, Hello Mayor.
Mayor Drucker: And hello to you mayor. Listen, I’ve got a favor to ask you.
Mayor Spremulli: Always happy to help a fellow mayor out.
Mayor Drucker: We’ve got a lot of deer in Solon.
Mayor Spremulli: Don’t we all.
Mayor Drucker: And we’ve got this program where we’ve paid hunters to come in and cull the herd.
Mayor Spremulli: You pay hunters? That’s odd. We charge hunters here in Bentleyville.
Mayor Drucker: Yes, well, we have this comprehensive plan.
Mayor Spremulli: Sounds like an expensive plan.
Mayor Drucker: Anyway, it looks like some of your deer are wandering over into Solon.
Mayor Spremulli: I don’t know if you could exactly say the deer are ours….
Mayor Drucker: And since, you see, you know your deer are being shot by our paid hunters, I was wondering if you could help us pay for the culling.
Mayor Drucker: Mayor Spermwhaley, are still there?
[More laughing sounds}
Mayor Drucker: Mayor Spermwhaley??
Mayor Spremulli: Oh, that’s a good one. Who are you really?
Mayor Drucker: I’m Mayor Drucker.
Mayor Spremulli: Right. Listen little girl, I don’t have time for practical jokes. You and your little friends had your little joke and now go home and let the grownups run things.
[Maria walks in.]
Maria: Sorry, but I couldn’t figure out how to work the coffee maker so I brought you this stapler.