Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sharing Costs?

Another parody of the city's deer culling activity

5058.1. Asking neighboring cities to help pay for culling...
by solonjoe3, 01/17/12 10:30 AM
Re: Serious response regarding Deer Killing... by bystander75, 01/17/12 10:30 AM

Mayor Drucker: Maria, can you get me the mayor of Bentleyville on the line?

Maria: Bentleyville?

Mayor Drucker: Yeah, it’s a city north of us, remember.

Maria: oh, ok.

[Five minutes pass]

Mayor Drucker: Maria, how’s that call coming?

Maria: Sally hid the phone books so I’m looking it up on one of the internets.

Mayor Drucker: Oh, ok.

[Another five minutes pass. Mayor quietly picks up her cell phone and call SolonPol]

Mayor Drucker: [Whispering] SolonPol, can you get me number for the Mayor of Bentleyville?

SolonPol: Home, cell, fax or work?

Mayor Drucker: Work.

SolonPol: Coming right up chief… (440) 247-5055

Mayor Drucker: [Still whispering] Thanks. Oh, one more thing. What’s his name?

SolonPol: Leonard A. Spremulli

Mayor Drucker: Spermwhatty?

SolonPol: Spremulli. Bye.

Mayor Drucker: [Shouts to the other room] Maria, I found the number. Can you get me a cup of coffee?

Maria: Oh, sure.

[Mayor Drucker dials]

Mayor Spremulli: Hello, This is Mayor Spremulli speaking. How may I help you?

Mayor Drucker: Hi Mayor Spermwhalie, this mayor Drucker over in Solon.

Mayor Spremulli: Oh, Hello Mayor.

Mayor Drucker: And hello to you mayor. Listen, I’ve got a favor to ask you.

Mayor Spremulli: Always happy to help a fellow mayor out.

Mayor Drucker: We’ve got a lot of deer in Solon.

Mayor Spremulli: Don’t we all.

Mayor Drucker: And we’ve got this program where we’ve paid hunters to come in and cull the herd.

Mayor Spremulli: You pay hunters? That’s odd. We charge hunters here in Bentleyville.

Mayor Drucker: Yes, well, we have this comprehensive plan.

Mayor Spremulli: Sounds like an expensive plan.

Mayor Drucker: Anyway, it looks like some of your deer are wandering over into Solon.

Mayor Spremulli: I don’t know if you could exactly say the deer are ours….

Mayor Drucker: And since, you see, you know your deer are being shot by our paid hunters, I was wondering if you could help us pay for the culling.

[Laughing sounds}

Mayor Drucker: Mayor Spermwhaley, are still there?

[More laughing sounds}

Mayor Drucker: Mayor Spermwhaley??

Mayor Spremulli: Oh, that’s a good one. Who are you really?

Mayor Drucker: I’m Mayor Drucker.

Mayor Spremulli: Right. Listen little girl, I don’t have time for practical jokes. You and your little friends had your little joke and now go home and let the grownups run things.


[Maria walks in.]

Maria: Sorry, but I couldn’t figure out how to work the coffee maker so I brought you this stapler.

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